I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
