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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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