I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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