so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
