bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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