WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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