Barsexuality is the new black.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
