So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
