so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
