i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
