FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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