My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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