it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
