i think i have herpe
just one?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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