mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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