I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
