that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
