Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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