You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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