It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Mom said you looked used
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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