So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
