I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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