Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
