Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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