haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
