"it" just moved
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
