I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
