Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bring me that man meat
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
