if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
