So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
