I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
love makes seman taste better
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
