I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
