If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
