We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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