I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
