Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
