are you still at the devil's house?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
