if i can run in heels then i can drive
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
