Where is the hickey?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
