I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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