I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
