All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
did you just send me my own nude
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
