I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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