So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
