im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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