then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
