he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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