It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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