its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize