I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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