After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
